


he looked like death

by woozi



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Suicide, kano misses ayano
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 17:43:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3143009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woozi/pseuds/woozi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kano's changing, or has he always been this way?</p>
            </blockquote>





	he looked like death

**Author's Note:**

> there's a painful lack of setokano on this website so i felt like this was necessary

It didn’t take long for Seto to notice the changes.

When Kano smiled, the edges were just a little too tight. His entire posture was stiff and tense, and it made Seto extremely uncomfortable.

He let the first few days of Kano being jumpy and just not happy looking slide, since everyone had bad days and he was full of those. Seto wondered how Kano could hide a mask with another one, and how he hadn’t come to anyone for any advice. After spending too much time thinking about it, he realized maybe Kano wasn’t someone who made their feelings known.

Maybe he didn’t know much about the blond after all.

Was the actual Kano like he had been the past month? Was the sarcastic little shit a fake personality? You’d think after spending their whole lives together…

“Seto.”

The voice startled him, and he took his gaze off the spot on the wall he’d been staring at to look up at Kido. “Yeah?”

“Did Kano tell you he was going out?” She looked tired and Seto didn’t know why she was asking him, since Kano randomly leaving wasn’t something that was new.

“Yeah.” He repeated. He didn’t, but he knew where he was anyway and he didn’t want to lose Kido like he was losing Kano. Besides, it was worth lying when her body deflated with the sigh of relief. Seto didn’t think it was that big of a deal, but he wasn’t going to ask her anything. “I can get him.” He told her, since Mary and Momo were probably getting started on dinner and it’d be nice to see Kano home for dinner for once.

He was off the couch and stretching his arms out when Kido nodded and simply turned on her heel to retreat to the kitchen, a hand brushing through her green hair. _He’s getting the best of you,_ he thought.

  

Seto tried to look less unsurprised when he saw a figure sitting against Ayano’s grave. The closer he got, he realized Kano was asleep, and he took the time to study his face.

Kano never let anyone look at him much anymore.

He’d never seen Kano with dark circles before, or maybe he just never looked hard enough. The dip in his shirt revealed sharp collarbones, and _had he never noticed that either?_ He glanced at Kano’s long eyelashes and messy hair hidden under his black hood, and maybe he only noticed the things he wanted to notice. He knelt down in front of Kano’s sleeping form and thought about throwing him over his shoulder and taking him home, but decided to wake him up instead.

“Hey.” Seto mumbled, hands sliding under Kano’s arms to pull him into a proper sitting position and keeping them there when the boy stirred and jolted awake. Seto stared hard enough at his face to notice the half a second of panic, before his eyes flashed red and the exhausted expression was wiped clear off his face. One thing Seto did know was that the other boy overused his power.

“I’ve been found, huh?” He hummed, and Seto winced.

"Don't use your power around me." Without really thinking about it, a thumb found its way to brush under the other boys’ right eye, feeling where the violet tint was hidden. “What’s happening to you?” he whispered, and he didn’t mean to sound so pathetic but it seemed to flick on a switch inside Kano’s sad little body, because the smirk was gone. 

Seto was starting to think Kano didn’t think anyone noticed how much he’d changed, which was stupid because he wasn’t being subtle at all. He softened his stare when he saw that Kano’s eyes had turned back to normal, and jumped a little when he let out a sharp laugh.

Now would be a good time for Seto to use his powers, but he didn’t want to manipulate him just yet. He still had some hope that he could crack him.

“What do you mean? I’ve always been like this.” Kano's expression was something Seto had never seen before and he tried not to let it freak him out. "Funny how I can trick everyone like that, huh?" He kept giggling to himself and really, this was scaring him. He waited until his giggles simmered down to breaths and watched him sag back against the grave.

“You probably know this, but I miss Ayano.” He sighed, and his tone was too light and Seto knew that the one person who would never, ever, take her death in anything but a serious way would be Kano. “I watched her kill herself, you know.” 

Seto stilled, because that was new information and he couldn’t believe his best friend kept that from everyone for this long. “What?”

“Yeah.” Kano chuckled again, his hand reaching up to grab Seto’s shirt so he could pull him closer, and rested his chin on the other boys shoulder. “I ran as fast as I could to get to her, but she was already falling.”

Seto was a little taken aback, but didn’t move because he couldn’t remember the last time Kano touched him out of his own free will. And he didn’t want him to stop talking.

“It just makes me feel like shit every single day. Because maybe if I hadn’t stood there like an idiot until it was too late, we could all be together right now.” He sighed gently, and didn’t seem to be taking this seriously. But he had to be hiding his face for a reason, so he didn’t think that was exactly the case. He was letting his guard down, Seto realized. He was actually telling the truth for once.

“You don’t think it’s your fault, right?” Seto asked, long arms winding around Kano’s small frame to keep him there. 

Kano sniffed then, and Seto winced when he realized he had said the wrong thing. He decided not to dwell on all of his mistakes in life for too long and instead squeezed him a little tighter, not exactly wanting to hear his reply, if he replied.

The other boy made a sound like he was about to choke, playing it off with a weak laugh. “If it’s not my fault, who’s is it?”

Seto pulled his body back just a little, so he could look at Kano’s face. “Look at me.” He murmured when he wouldn’t look up. He wasn't going to force him, he finally had him where he wanted him and he didn't want to mess it up. He held back a small smile of triumph when Kano eventually lifted his head, glassy eyes not being able to focus on any certain part of his face for too long.

“It’s no ones fault that she died. You realize that she did that to save our lives, right? We would’ve been killed by him if she didn’t take that step.” He kept his voice quiet because he finally had Kano opening up to him, and this was the worst thing to talk to him about.

“I wish I had died instead.” Seto didn’t know Kano could burst into tears so easily, but there was a lot of things he didn’t know, so he just tucked him under his chin again as he sobbed. There was no doubt Ayano’s death affected anyone more than Kano, and Seto seriously had no idea what to do. He didn’t know when Kano turned slightly suicidal either, and the thought of him walking out alone every night now terrified him. He turned them so his back was against Ayano’s grave instead, and ran a hand up and down Kano’s back while his other reached up to pull his hood down and brush his fingers through the blond hair.

“Hey." He spoke up, gaining some confidence. "You're the glue to the Mekakushi Dan, Kano. If you left us no one would get over it. You're what keeps us happy, what keeps me happy. And I can't stand to see you this miserable.” Seto mumbled, and closed his eyes when that just made Kano cry harder. He was never good at this; this was a job for Kido. He felt Kano fist his jumpsuit, and he figured that was him letting him know he understood.

Kano's knees were digging into his hips, but Seto made no attempt to move him. He would probably never get this close to Kano again, so he wasn't going to blow this. It made Seto tear up a little as well, seeing how devastated Kano was and not knowing until now. He was going to vow to be extra observant with him from now on. He’s never witnessed him cry so hard, since he barely cries at all, always hiding everything with his power.

When Kano’s sobs died down Seto felt like he could breathe easily again. He let his face stay buried in his neck for a little longer, mostly because he didn’t know what to say and because he wasn’t sure he was ready to face him. “Do you feel better?” he tried, feeling the back of his jumper tighten again in Kano’s fists.

“Of course not.” He forced out a laugh, letting Seto pull him back a bit anyway so he could get his hands on the sides of his face. Thumbs were running across his wet and sticky cheeks and it was taking all he had not to cry again. “I want to go home.” He grumbled, batting Seto’s hands away and wrapping his arms around his neck to let him know he wanted to be carried.

They made it out of the cemetery not long after. And Seto knew, with his hands holding up the legs around his waist and Kano’s evened out breath tickling his shoulder, that from somewhere out there Ayano was telling them _good night._

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr: shingeyki.tumblr.com


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